Drew is such an asshole. Honestly I don’t even know why I am not single right now. I cannot stand being in a fucking relationship! It’s terrible. I mean, sometimes it’s good. He’s my best friend and we laugh a lot. We love eachother most of the time. But we make no progress together. The truth is we are both very shitty human beings. We drink too much. We smoke cigarettes. We hate the majority of people. But alone or together, we are very likeable to almost everyone and don’t have a problem being social. But I can never see myself being truly happy with him. And I have never admitted that to anyone. Sure we like the same things. But we don’t want the same things. We are both impulsive to the point that it’s disgusting. Really. I look at some of the dicissions that we have made together and am disgusted. I don’t how much more I can write about our relationship without my head exploding or crying so I’m going to go. More about us and our past later.
So, now I feel so sumb because I thought that you considered the thing in your bathroom (named “Drew”) your bf. As in a joke, of course.
So, can we ask why are you still with himif you hate it so much?
Ditto on the question above me.
please don’t beat yourself up about it. the answers aren’t going to come to you over night, they just aren’t.
when i buy a house (soon.) you can come live with me… only there will be NO alcohol kept in the house, none. because i love you and you, drunk all the time? not so much.
but anyway. please stop stressing about it. you have acknowledged that you are unhappy, that’s a huge step (and if you didn’t know… blogging makes it so that you can’t take it back. it’s set in stone now…).
You’re a beautiful person, you just need to start taking care of yourself more and you need to start making smart choices, which will all come in time… you are only 22 my love.
also, this is completely unrelated… but i think we should go to san francisco. i’ve never been and i would like to go. the end.
I live with my boyfriend of three years, we have fought, cheated, had fabulous times and at the end of the day we still love each other (even though sometimes I doubt it) or we wouldn’t be bothered or getting worked up about… nothing.
Tomorrow, or the next day all will be forgotten.
Sound familiar?
Ermmm…. boyfriends are the suck. My moment of clarity came when my dad (who is half-fantastic) said to me “you know, the person you’re with is supposed to be somebody who’s always on your side. Someone who always has your back and who makes you laugh. The person you’re with is supposed to be the one person that makes you happiest. I look at you and I see a girl who’s miserable. She’s crying almost every day and she’s burned out from worry and exhaustion. That’s not supposed to be the way it is. It shouldn’t be so hard, especially at your age. The problems you have now will just magnify years down the line. Thank about it, okay?”
I did. And I realised he was right. Maybe it’s not relevant to your situation but JUST IN CASE I’m passing it on.
Love!
xxx
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